I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
