the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
