Already got asked if we're dating
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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