you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
