how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
