at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
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Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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