We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
