Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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