And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
whose ass print is on the piano?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
