This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
