Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
