She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
