Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
