You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
