nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize