It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
3pm strippers are depressing
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
