You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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