we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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