am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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