I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
