i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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