im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's never too late to be topless.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
