guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize