this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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