I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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