yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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