Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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