Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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