Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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