i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Farmville is her only friend.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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