ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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