oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
