Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
