and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize