I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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