oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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