Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I came so hard my ears popped.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
