So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
