i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
