I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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