Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
