just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
