Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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