i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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