Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
