i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
