what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
