Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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