i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
