You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
