Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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