school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
