someone threw a dead crab at me
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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