so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?