all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem