She is in my trunk
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.