My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize