So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
