Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
