summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
