get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
