bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
