I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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