Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
